It’s Not Good To Be Alone

God tells us that being alone is not good.  “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen. 2:18). Loneliness is not good.

What does it mean to be alone? I read that if you say you’re alone or feel alone, it means that nobody is with you, or nobody cares about you, you feel isolated.  It’s a pretty lousy feeling. You can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, even in the midst of a group of friends. It usually includes believing a lie….”no one loves me… no one cares about me…I don’t matter, I’m alone…”. It’s a terrible feeling to be alone. God knows that. 

I just saw an excerpt from a  Pew Research Center report saying “roughly 1 out of 6 Americans feel lonely or isolated either all or most of the time” That equates to about 54 million people in the U.S. That’s a lot of people walking around feeling pretty lousy.

People try to get rid of this painful feeling in many ways. Methods that don’t work include:  

• Overindulging in food or alcohol or drugs to distract from these feelings.
• Excessive screen time or binge-watching shows to avoid social interaction.
• Using shopping or material possessions as a temporary fix for loneliness.
• Isolating oneself by avoiding friends and family… and more.

These approaches may bring temporary relief, but they often just make things worse…. like digging the “loneliness hole” even deeper. 

Probably all of us have had moments of loneliness over our lifetime. I know that I have. Recently I was on a pilgrimage with my wife and some 40 other good Catholic people in Italy visiting magnificent shrines. I was in the midst of many people, in holy places, yet I found myself fighting loneliness….. at one point experiencing a real feeling of loneliness and isolation. Everyone seemed to be having a great and wonderful experience…except me. I tried to shrug it off, but I couldn’t. Fortunately I was able to ask my wife for prayer and after a time I slowly felt the cloud lifting. Looking back I sensed the presence of the Blessed Mother helping to free me up. 

What should we do when we experience times of loneliness? Sometimes it may just be a brief moment and it passes quickly. Other times the loneliness can linger for days and longer. What should we do when this occurs? I believe one of the first things to remember is that the truth sets us free. We must live in the truth. Here’s a checklist:

• Pray and ask the Lord to help. Is my relationship with the Lord in right order? Is there unrepentant sin isolating me from the Lord?  If so, repentance should be the first order of business.
• Ask the Blessed Mother to pray for me. Ask the saints to pray.
• Share your trial with a trusted friend… maybe your spouse or a spiritual advisor….. people that can speak the truth to you. The truth does set us free. 
• Sometimes the attack of loneliness can be the prelude to an important breakthrough. The devil tends to generally overplay his hand. 
• Good spiritual reading can help us to get our head on straight, to continue in the good fight of faith and not give up.
• And we need to remember to reach out and offer help to others we sense may be experiencing loneliness.

We must persevere in doing what is right, regardless of attacks of loneliness. St. Albert the Great, teacher of Thomas Aquinas, said, “A sure sign of true perseverance is when a person will not deliberately depart from what he knows to be right in the face of any adversity, trial, or temptation. O Jesus, make me constant and faithful to your law, and teach me perseverance to stand firm evermore. And let my heart not waver, nor wander from your light; grant holy perseverance in all that’s just and right” (Magnificat, Nov. 15, 2025)