“Shadow Side of The Soul”

There are many excellent spiritual authors today who speak the truth in compelling  ways. While all may be truthful and good and helpful, I find there are some that tend to almost always get my attention, to frequently make a point that hits home with me. Fr. Donald Haggerty of St. Pat’s Cathedral is one of them. The other day he made a point about how conversions are not a one and done event…. “hey, I’ve been converted and now I’ll just ride this wave right into heaven… no more problems for me.” 

He writes: “It is a reality as well in conversions, even when they are most lasting and sharp in their intuitive awakening, that a shadow side of the soul remains still alive and, indeed, never dies. In that sense, a conversion cannot be compared to the elimination of a foreign menace from the soul, like the removal of cancer from the body. A conversion may entail a soul’s return to the state of grace with a sacramental confession of serious sins. But even then the significance is less the expunging of sin and much more the entry of God into the deeper hunger of the soul. This gift of God to the soul, however, does not prevent the possibility of turning back and reversing direction. The burden of a human vulnerability to sin remains. It is mysterious and vexing that nothing is ever completely secure in the relations with God. Throughout our life, our soul’s choice for God has to be continually renewed and deepened with the help of grace.” (ref. Fr. Donald Haggerty, Magnificat 2-17-24)

It’s a battle until we breath our last. Becoming complacent can be deadly whether we’re a baby Christian or a veteran who’s been serving the Lord for many years. I actually find this pronouncement to be refreshing because it corresponds with the experience of my life in following Christ. It reminds me that “the vulnerability of sin remains” and I need to be on my toes. It’s quite a balancing act of being at peace with Christ and walking in his grace, yet knowing that “nothing is ever completely secure in our relations with God”.

So, none of us have died and gone to heaven…none of us have been canonized. We are still in the battle. “May our soul’s choice for God be continually renewed and deepened with the help of grace.” And that is very good news. Come Holy Spirit.