“Be Honest In Confession”

As I read an article about St. Angela of Foligno today, I was struck by her honest profession of a serious fault. This particular fault is something that I can relate to… it’s some conglomeration of scrupulosity, shame, pride, and probably a whole lot more. 

“Born around 1248, Angela had been living a worldly life when a sequence of natural disasters and war forced her to contemplate the Last Things. “I realized my sinfulness,” she recalled; “I was seized with a great fear of being damned…. I went to confession to be relieved of my sins, but through shame I concealed the most grievous ones, but still I went to Communion. Now my conscience tortured me day and night. I called upon Saint Francis for help, and, moved by an inner impulse, I went into a church where a Franciscan Father was then preaching.” She was then able to make a good confession, which proved a turning point in her life. Soon she gave away her possessions and became a Franciscan tertiary. She died in 1309 and, though long revered as a saint, was formally canonized in 2013.” (ref. Magnificat, 6-26-24)

Shame can be a terrible enemy to our soul….” if they only knew what an awful bum I am, they would never speak to me again….”. It’s one thing to try and hide our sinfulness from other humans, knowing that they may betray our trust and vulnerabilities and throw us to the lions….but it’s another thing to try and hide  from God… he already knows everything. Nevertheless, when shame prevails, we reject the very help that can set us free…..”It’s the patient’s fear preventing him from telling the doctor that he has a lump under his arm or that he keeps having this intense pressure in the middle of his chest…. “. 

My first confession at 9 years old was pretty close to being a bad confession. My anonymity went out the window when Fr. Slay greeted me by my first name…. “oh hello David, come and sit down”. This priest had been hearing the confessions of returning WWII veterans, yet I thought he would be scarred for life when he heard from me. For many years scrupulosity plagued me. This was amplified by some pretty angry priests that would bring “fire & brimstone” to the confessional. In the words of St. Angela, “my conscience , sometimes, tortured me day and night”. 

A wise priest once said “you’re not suppose to look good in confession”. Yet there’s always the pressure to try and not look like a terrible sinner.

So Dave, I’m beginning to wonder, “what’s the point of this BLOG?” Well, I can’t think of anything clever to wrap this up, so I will say this, especially to the younger members of the BLOG community, pray to be honest in confession. Pray to say your sins bluntly, clearly…don’t try to justify your sins in confession…just tell it like it is. When we try and “talk around our sins” in confession, “our conscience may torture us day and night”….  a bad deal. On the other hand, a clear conscience enables us to hear the Lord’s voice and to have the courage and grace to make decisions that can propel us forward into holiness…. a good deal.

“God of love unbounded, through the prayers of Saint Angela of Foligno, may no shame keep us from confessing our sins and receiving Holy Communion worthily.” And may the Holy Spirit “heal all who labor under the pain of depression, scrupulosity, and anxiety: that all may know the joy of your love.” (ibid)